On Monday, January 21st, our social worker came for our home visit. Since it was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, both our girls had the day off from school. So when Ms. Nathanson arrived, the girls showed her around the house... Christy said, "This is Dad's office, but it will be Sayfou's room." "Christy and I are going to switch rooms and I get to sleep with Maddie, " said Abbey, smiling. Ms. Nathanson took some basic notes, like "open living room", "walls painted in a neutral color." Then she sat down on the couch with Christy and Abbey and I sat in a nearby chair.

She asked them good questions, like "What do you think about this upcoming adoption?" Abbey said, "I think it's a good thing to adopt Sayfou and Maddie. I want them to be my brother and sister."

"How do you think you'll be toward them?"
Christy: I'll be sisterly, just like I am with Abbey.

"What is 'sisterly'?"
Christy: You know, I'll look out for them and be nice to them.

My eyebrows raised, but I didn't say anything.

"These kids have different color skin. What have you thought about that?"
Christy: It doesn't matter.
Abbey: If we go into a restaurant and people are staring at us, we can just pretend we're famous.

"We all have ideas/fantasies about what life will be like when these kids come. What if it's not all great? Abbey, what if Maddie snores? Christy, what if Sayfou doesn't want to play with you but just wants to hang out by himself?"
Christy: I'll give him space until he's ready to play.

"What if he never gets ready?"
Christy:  (silence)

Abbey: It's okay if Maddie snores.

"What if she takes your toys and wants to keep them for her own?"
Abbey: (silence)

So I think our social worker gave the girls some good things to think about. We talk every night as a family about all the different scenarios that could occur once these children come home. But Ms. Nathanson even expanded their vision. She was wonderful with the girls. When she left, Abbey gave her a hug. Then Abbey told me later, "She really liked my dimples. I want her to be my third grandma, because she's so nice."

The next day, Dave and I met at Nathanson Adoption Services' office to wrap up our portion of the home study. She asked very specific questions, like, "What do you know about child development?" Dave said, "Well, I've taught 'Child Development' at four universities." Her eyes got wide as she wrote this down. Then she asked about how we parented, had we discussed possible attachment issues, and what resources we used as parents. To that last question, I answered, "Well, there's this great book out there called 'Parenting the Millenial Generation' by a guy named Dave Verhaagen..." Her eyebrows shot up and she asked, "You wrote a book? On parenting?" She could not believe it. Then she said, "Can I just tell you? Your children are delicious... so well-spoken, well-mannered. You guys I'm kinda worried about," she said facetiously, "but your girls just might tip the scale in your favor!"

Bottom line: I think we passed the home study with flying colors!